[Chome Chome Chome Chome Koh! Poli Poli Poli Poli Eat it!]
["Keep an Eye on the Chief for the Day"]
["Chome-ko Nanza Kuso Kurae!" Tsu Terakado's 4th single. Now on sale!]
Listen up!
The purpose of today's special assignment
is to implore the citizens of Edo to be on the lookout for crimes...
and to restore the Shinsengumi's reputation, which, quite recently, has been severely tarnished.
So, pop idol Otsu-chan will be our "Chief For The Day" and help us improve our public image!
So listen up! Whatever you do today, just be on your best behavior!
And also respect Otsu-chan... I mean the Chief...and learn how to capture people's hearts!
It's really Otsu-chan!
Your autograph! Please give me your autograph!
Idiots!
We won't be able to control the citizens if we can't even control ourselves.
Sorry about that, Chief. I haven't trained them very well...
That's all right.
What's with your uniform?! You got her autograph!
I'll wear it forever. As long as my life lasts!
Well, it seems morale has suddenly gone up.
It isn't morale. They're just flipping out.
Terakado-san, this is today's schedule.
Oh, right.
All you have to do is stand there and smile, so take it easy.
Um...
If I'm going to do anything, I don't want to do it halfway.
My father always told me
that no matter what the job is, I should tackle it with everything I've got.
Well...but...
Even if it's just for a day, I want to do a good job as Chief,
so I've thought up various ideas to help improve the Shinsengumi's image.
No, that's all right. Just your being here...
Hey, you guys! That's enough!
You have a bad reputation because all you do is fight!
Settling everything with violence is as low as you can get!
As of right now, I'm banning violence for today.
Take off those swords on your waists!
Hey, does this little girl really think she's the boss?
Those guys can't be controlled by just anyone.
And besides, there's no way we could enforce anything without our weapons.
The sword is a samurai's soul.
We're sorry, Chief!
Should I change careers?
Toshi! Sogo! What're you doing?! Hurry up and drop your weapons!
Kondo-san, I think you've dropped your brain.
We have to work at improving our image!
Do you think I called Otsu-chan over here for no reason?
No, I think you called her because you had lecherous motives.
Otsu-chan... I mean, the Chief...
was once hung out to dry because of a scandal and she hit rock bottom.
But despite that, she sang anywhere she could with a never-give-up attitude.
And when music producer Tsunpo recognized her talent,
they completely cleaned up her image.
Today, she's returned to be one of Edo's top pop idols.
She's a phoenix-like pop star!
I know people call you the 24-hour police thugs behind your backs.
Now that I'm Chief,
I will do my best to thoroughly improve your public image
using the show business strategies pounded into me by Tsunpo-san.
First, we must erase the brutal image that has followed you around!
So, I think we should start by changing this rule.
Rule: "Do not violate the Way of the Samurai.
Violators must commit seppuku."
It sounds cool, but it's a little scary.
So, from today on, we'll go with this. Pork ginger sauté.
Add something cute to the end of your sentences.
Violators must commit seppuku. Cloned human.
That wasn't cute. You left in the most dangerous part: seppuku.
I couldn't remove it without losing the samurai style. Camel hump.
No samurai style whatsoever is left- Moomin.
There you go. That's it.
Shut up!
There's nothing we can do about it, Hijikata-san.
Let's just grin and bear it today. Drink one-liter of soy sauce and die, Hijikata, you bastard.
When you say it, it sounds even more hateful.
Also, we can't erase the image that you're a bunch of grubby guys,
so I think you need a friendly mascot- Nori bento.
[Note: Nori bento = seaweed boxed lunch]
So, I came up with one. Domestic violence.
Over here, over here.
The Shinsengumi mascot: Makoto-chan.
That's not cute at all!! What's this got to do with the Shinsengumi?!
Why's he carrying a dead body?! Which one? Which one is Makoto-chan?!
The horse. Sweet bean jelly.
I've never seen a mascot with such dismal eyes!
Forget being cute, I see...
a symbol of tragedy!
Oh... I did it...
He said he did it! What? Is that what he did?
Toshi, these days just being cute isn't enough. Yogurt.
Take a good look. It's quite gro...cu...
What'd you do that for! Daffunda!
[Note: "Daffunda" was an expression used by comedian Ken Shimura in his short sketches.]
Oh stop it. Tenshindon.
[Note: Tenshindon is egg on rice. Like egg foo yung.]
They walk haughtily through the streets.
As they flaunt "justice."
Everything they say is for the sake of appearances.
But they close their mouths when it comes to the truth.
I gotta say, Chief, your popularity is just what I expected.
Everywhere you go it's packed with fools. Fall off a cliff and die, Hijikata.
But what is this song?
It sounds like she's mocking us. Get punched and kicked and die, Okita.
You're too self-conscious.
It sounds like a sweet love song to me. Die of gas poisoning and go to hell, Hijikata.
Thank you, everyone! Corn poop!
Corn poop!
Sounds like it'll make our image even worse. Fall off a cliff and die, Okita.
What if there actually is a terrorist incident?
We don't have our swords. Get splashed with boiling water and die, Hijikata
I don't care anymore. Moomin, kill Okita!
Die, Hijikata.
Die, Okita.
Die, Okita. Oops, I mean Hijikata.
Great job, Chief.
Thank you.
Wow. You're amazing, Chief.
I never realized how you could gather
so much attention with just some small twists. Bamboo shoots.
When it comes to a positive image, it's difficult to create, but easy to destroy.
You people had the worst possible image to begin with,
so we just had to start from scratch. Phantom azuki bean washer.
Hey, she says the worst things with the greatest of ease...
It's a sad story.
We work hard every day to protect the peace in Edo,
but we just seem to be running in circles.
What we aspire to be and the image people have of us are totally different. Limbo dance.
But you Shinsengumi guys are quite commendable.
Usually, people can't even take an honest look at how others see them.
But if you're too concerned with how others see you,
you'll be paralyzed. Slippery phantom.
What's with these conversations? It's kind of creepy...
I was the same way.
I was rocked by a scandal and became so concerned about how everyone saw me
that I became too afraid to even step outside. Badger's balls.
Did she just say "balls"? A pop idol said balls? Is she really a pop idol?
But it's not easy changing people's minds.
I just said, forget it.
I decided to become the best person I could be.
After that, everything seemed a lot brighter. Teriyaki burger.
But I think I was only able to come to that realization because of all the time
I had spent suffering under other people's image of me. Eel pie.
It's not good to be too concerned with how people see you...
But you shouldn't ignore them, either. It's difficult---the Cat Returns.
But I'm sure you all can do it. You're already suffering through it. Princess Mononoke.
Otsu-chan... You're a good woman. Daffunda.
You just said "Daffunda" twice.
The next time you say it, you'll have to commit seppuku. Camel hump.
Oh, you said that twice, as well, Otsu-chan. Elephant's trunk.
What? Then let's say it never happened.
It'll be our secret. Just between the two of us. Mouse tail.
I feel like knocking them out, but...
You bastard! You were fooling around with Otsu-chan!
Mako-chan's...!
There's another Mako-chan inside Mako-chan!
Huh? Where'd the top half go?
Oh... I did it...
I totally did it... I did it.
I thought it was a boar. Now I've done it.
Sir, I don't know what happened, but what's done is done.
Drink and forget about it.
I shot that arrow on a reflex. Now I've done it...
Quit saying you did it!
What're you doing?! You're the mascot.
What's the mascot doing here drinking?
Now I've done it... I never imagined a person would appear deep in the forest.
Hey! It sounds like a frightening incident is about to come to light...
Makoto-chan!
Makoto-chan, over here, quickly!
A group of children are leaving the temple school!
This is your chance! Children are pure, so it's easy to instill a good image!
And if they tell their parents, your reputation will grow in no time!
Children like cute things...
Time to make your appearance, Makoto-chan!
Wait! Do you know how heavy a past he's shouldering?
Hey! You're upside-down! Mako-chan! That's the wrong way!
That's nothing but a complete monster!
Look out!
Forward! Keep going forward! Oh no! He dropped the dead body!
Never mind! Never mind the dead body! Just go away! You'll just scare them!
I said to ignore the dead body!
I hate leaving school as a group.
Can't be helped. Not with that happening a lot lately. That's scary.
Ouch...
Hey, were we a success?
I wouldn't know. I'm totally in the dark.
Dead body! Well? Did we succeed, dead body?
Quit playing dead!
Hey, what're you guys doing?!
I thought something was odd.
So it was you guys after all! What's the big idea?!
No! You've got the wrong idea! Otsu-chan asked us to...
Shut up! You're always interfering! What's your game?!
No, it's true. Otsu-chan asked us to...!
14:17: You're under arrest for obstruction of justice.
What? Are you serious?
You can't do that! "Obstruction of justice"? Just what did we do?!
Shut up! You interfered with the parade!
Listen to me. Like we said, Otsu-chan asked us to...
We'd never voluntarily help you guys!
Help, you say? You guys were nothing, but interference!
She said she wanted our help because she was going to be Chief for a day.
Otsu-chan hired us personally.
She's a fine girl. She hired us with her own money just for this day.
You guys are trampling on her good will.
You're the guys who trampled on it!
Okay, never mind that. Let us see Otsu-chan!
We're not getting anywhere this way!
He's right. Let us see the Chief! Today, you're nothing but a powerless gorilla!
A powerless gorilla doesn't exist. A gorilla's grip is nothing to sneeze at!
Tsk...
Hey Sogo, where's our Chief for a day?
Well... We haven't seen her at all for a while.
Where could she have gone?
Think like her.
When a girl disappears without telling anyone,
it usually has to do with number two.
Let it go. That's why you guys can't get girlfriends.
I see. Now I know why you're not popular.
Don't say such rude things!
Otsu-chan doesn't fart and she doesn't poop!
Everything comes out as cute little eggs! Like a quail's.
Do you really think of that as innocent?! It's just obscene!
Pop idols fart and they poop, too! Look reality in the face, you idiot!
Then are you saying Sis farts, too?!
Of course she does! I accept that!
But in Otae-san's case, it's a pink plume.
Hello.
You're the one who can't see reality!
What is it, Yamazaki? I'm busy right now. I'm hanging up.
Was that Yamazaki? Wasn't he working on the female serial kidnappings?
He wanted Otsu-chan's autograph.
[Otsu]
Don't worry. I wrote it for him...
More importantly, where could that girl have gone?
Maybe Otsu-chan was kidnapped while we weren't looking?
Strange how those incidents all happened within the Shinsengumi's jurisdiction.
Don't be silly.
If something happened right in front of our eyes,
the Shinsengumi would be finished for sure.
She's probably peeing or something.
You're no different than Kondo-san. That's why you're not popular with women.
Then what about you?
That day...
Shall we do a group social party next time? We'll settle it once and for all...
Vice-Chief, we found her. There!
People, do you believe the Shinsengumi is capable of protecting the peace in Edo?
No! They're just weak, lazy people who waste your tax money!
As proof, we easily abducted their Chief for a day!
These girls and Tsu Terakado are decisive proof of their incompetence!
This world is totally rotten! Let us all put a change to that!
Currently, the radical group entrenched at Iboji Temple...
[Note: Iboji is a play on the homonym that means "hemmorhoids"]
[Are the Anti-foreigner Faction terrorists behind the serial kidnappings of women?]
is an Anti-foreigner Faction ronin group calling itself the "Tengu Faction."
It has just been revealed that the recent serial kidnappings of women were their doing.
Furthermore, they have barricaded themselves in the pagoda with the Shinsengumi Chief for a day,
popular pop idol Tsu Terakado-san, as their hostage!
In their manifesto, they are demanding the release of their Anti-foreigner Faction comrades
who were arrested by the Shinsengumi and the dissolution of the Shinsengumi.
They claim they will kill all the hostages if their demands are not met!
How the Shinsengumi will respond to this situation is being closely monitored.
Here they come. The Shinsengumi has arrived!
How will you take responsibility for this incident?
Please tell us!
Kondo-san!
Otsu-chan was right there with you when this happened, wasn't she?
Didn't you see anything?
They're demanding the dissolution of the Shinsengumi. What will you do?
Now I've done it... I've done it. I never thought we'd be arrested.
Who are you? How are connected to the Shinsengumi?
It was a false arrest. That's what it was.
False arrest?! By the Shinsengumi?!
Won't you please tell us the details of what happened?!
It was more torture than an interrogation...
Don't complicate the situation!
Cut it out, you guys! If you hadn't shown up, this would never have happened...
Take a look, viewers. He's like a thug!
Toshi, stop it. If our reputation gets any worse, we'll be...
We can't do anything with this many people from of the media here.
Those guys are out to completely ruin us.
Everyone!
So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have prepared for dissolution.
What? What did you just say?
I'm sorry. Speak louder, please!
Everyone!
So the Shinsengumi are here! I hope you have pre...
Don't make me repeat myself! It's embarrassing!
It says: "We can't hear you. Please write it down."
[Your writing's too small, can't read it.]
Listen up! Try to buy as much time as you can.
Units 2 and 3, use the opportunity to flank them.
Are you guys mocking us?!
Act like you can't hear them.
"Regarding the hostages' release, we are discussing it with our superiors.
But it will take time. Please wait." That's what it says.
Hmph...
They want us to believe them?
"We want proof. Proof that you've become our loyal dog.
Turn around three times and bark."
Those bastards...
It says, "Hijikata only."
Don't lie! You clearly tacked that on just now!
You have no choice, Toshi. Do it for Otsu-chan.
Yeah, you have no choice, Toshi.
I don't want you calling me Toshi.
Oh yes, he did it!
Toshiro Hijikata, the man feared as the demon vice-chief!
His attempt to make himself look good made it all the more embarrassing!
Hijikata-san, I made a mistake.
It actually read, "We're hungry, so prepare some curry."
What kind of mistake was that?!
[Is hot curry okay? Or mild curry?]
The two sentences are totally different!
Chief! That doesn't matter at all!
What a sight to behold!
The Shinsengumi, feared by the Anti-foregner ronin, are making curry!
They're completely at the terrorist's beck and call!
Everyone...
This is interesting. Maybe we can have some fun before our meal.
[Do the robot dance.]
Shit. They're getting carried away. It says to do the robot dance. Okita only.
Seriously? I have no choice.
Rocket Punch!
They said "dance"! That's a killing technique!
It's a dance that begins with a Rocket Punch.
He's pretty good... What's with this guy? He has no weaknesses!
Mimic someone. Open to all.
I have no choice. I'll take this one.
I'll mimic Okita!
Mimicking a fractured skull!
Hey, you... Seriously, come on, let me hit you just once, okay?
I won't hurt, so please?
Nope.
Damn rotten kid!
Uh-oh, there's dissension in the ranks!
How the Shinsengumi has fallen!
There's practically nothing left of it!
Chief! Our image is getting worse and worse!
Chief!
The Chief ran away to the land of curry!
Want seconds, Mako-chan?
Now they've done it. Those guys really did it...
Can't do anything about what's already done, Mako-chan...
Mako-chan, you can go home. We'll take care of it from here.
We can't do that. I'm the image mascot... Your image mascot.
Otsu-chan paid us in advance, so we have to see the job though.
What is an image mascot? Is that the image we present?
Like this?
Like how?
Stupid, dangerous, protectors of the peace in Edo.
I only see the stupid part of it...
Well, time to get going... Hey, ready the curry.
Hey, where're you going, Mako-chan?
Like I said. Mako-chan is your image mascot.
Stupid, dangerous and protectors of the peace in Edo.
[Kill Kondo!!]
They're getting carried away...
Cut it out! You know we can't do that!
Stop it, please. That's enough...
If you can't do it, then this woman dies in Kondo's place.
People who can't even protect one person are trying to protect Edo.
What a laugh.
Hey there.
I've brought your curry.
What are you...?
I was hired part-time to be their mascot. How did I get mixed up in all of this?
We're having fun right now, so just go over there. Leave the curry there...
Around here?
Okay!
Come on!
Chief! What're you doing?
Stop horsing around!
Otsu-chan! I'm sorry!
After all you did to help us, this is who we are!
We struggled to change, but we're still the same!
We're still the same, crude bunch of guys that people hate!
It's a crudeness we can't get rid of in just a day!
But! Like you said,
there are things we noticed as we struggled and looked at ourselves!
We don't care how much people hate us, or how much they laugh at us!
However!
We absolutely do not want to become shameless men
who cannot protect what we're supposed to protect!
Draw your swords, men!
Even if you must step over my corpse,
there are things you men must protect!
All right, charge!
I've brought your curry.
Okay, leave it there.
Right here?
Stop bothering us! This is the best part!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Chief!
Ack! What're you guys doing?!
Now I've done it... Now I've done it...
What're you doing?!
Kill them! Kill them!
This wig is so itchy; I can't stand it.
Otsu-san, please let me have your autograph later, okay?
Damn that guy. He was hidden amongst the women the whole time.
Does that mean...?!
Good-bye. Ramen noodle substitute.
Those guys rock...
Shinsuke... It would seem your ambitions aren't going to be easily achieved.
Hello, Tsunpo here.
Oh, Otsu-dono? You say you've come up with some good lyrics?
[A Great Achievement for Makoto-chan!]
What a coincidence. I just came up with a good tune.
It's a bit on the heavy side, though.
["When Looking For Something You've Lost, Remember What You Were Doing On The Day You Lost It."]
Tatsuma, for someone who appears every week in the intro, we haven't seen you in a while.
[Tatsuma Sakamoto travels across the galaxy doing business as the leader of the "Pleasure Support Club."]
[Once upon a time, he, Gintoki, Katsura and Takasugi were comrades who fought together in the Anti-foreigner War.]